The Filthy Lowdown is:
Abe: Vocals - Max: Lead Guitar - Brandon: Guitar - Chuck: Bass - Dave: Drums
When Dr. “Filthy” Phil Bricka announced his intentions to spawn a new breed of human capable of withstanding longer bouts of drinking and moshing, he was met with widespread criticism and ousted from the science community. Undeterred, he vowed not to quit until he had succeeded in creating the ultimate thrashing specimen.
Countless nights of trial, error, and nine dozen Lions heads yielded results at last in 2003. Too late, though, did Bricka discover a critical mistake: he had accidentally exposed his lab-grown fledgling to nothing but ‘Smooth’ by Santana and Rob Thomas, causing it to think Olive Garden was authentic and get tipsy after two wine coolers. Disappointed, but not defeated, he returned to his workshop for a final attempt.
He realized upon getting underway that any superior party machine would need like-minded brethren to survive, and so he incubated five more seedlings in a proprietary mix of cheap beer, caffeine, and remnants of a Denny’s Lumberjack Slam, exposing them to a carefully curated blend of thrash, fast-paced punk, metal, funk, and more. As these formerly lifeless vessels matured, was then the Filthy Lowdown born. Years of emotional and intellectual torment related to the project had driven “Filthy Phil,” as he is now known on law enforcement databases everywhere, into mental disrepair. With what few lucid moments he had left, he unleashed his darling creations upon the world to shred it with each and every note, drain it of every last sip of beer, and drown it in unrelenting volumes of pure, unadulterated filth.