You are what is wrong with music today, and if you really love limp bizkit so much just go back to listening to your Hanson CD's that you bought when you were thirteen years old.

When I was about fourteen or fifteen years old my brother came home one day with the CD "Significant Other". He begged me for weeks on end (he was probably sick of hearing my excited screams in his ear at how awesome I thought they were) to listen to it. Just like every other hard rock/punk kid at the time, my friends and I went crazy over them.

As a self-proclaimed "metalhead" I feel it is my duty to tell you that Limp Bizkit is the worst rock band in history. We all know that Fred Durst, Wes Borland, Sam Rivers, and DJ Lethal are terrible musicians who cannot play their instruments for shit. 

So, yeah, Limp Bizkit is absolutely the worst punk band in history and I have proof of this claim.

1. The definition of "punk" is vague, but I shall use Merriam-Webster's definition: "a style of rock music." Limp Bizkit has never played anything that even resembles rock music. Their songs are not based around either guitar riffs or drum breaks, their lyrics are sexually charged nonsense, and they feature rapping far more prominently than any sort of singing or instruments.

2. Limp Bizkit broke up in 2005 after releasing an album containing two songs with over five words each (and one song clocking in at a title consisting solely on punctuation marks). They reformed later that year, because why the fuck not.

3. Limp Bizkit has the most grammatical errors in lyrics of any band ever (Limp Bizkit's official site contains spelling errors like "everyone else", "you're", and "if you need to contact us, please ser it out").

4. But what makes them even more loathsome is their fans. I don't think any band in history has the fan base that Limp Bizkit does. It's become some sort of ironic joke at this point, but it doesn't change the fact that these idiots actually listen to and enjoy Limp Bizkit. 

Here are some things that happen when you discover someone likes limp bizkit:

• You think of someone really happy then you think of them listening to limp bizkit and that happiness is gone
  
• You wonder if they're joking but deep down you know they're not
  
• You just give up on trying to be friends with that person ever again.

Let's face it, there are very few bands in the world that have become so widely hated by the general public. It's not just because they suck, it's because their fanbase is bloody annoying too.

Article is for entertainment purposes only - do not become a criminal, it's not punk af

Did you ever wonder what it would be like if all your worst nightmares came true? Well, look no further! If punk music is your cup of tea, then this guide will tell you how to make a career out of crime. Crime can become a lucrative side business for certain individuals who have a penchant for bad haircuts and Doc Marten shoes. This guide should help budding criminals master the basics in short order so they can start working on their rap sheets immediately after reading it. As for those who are already seasoned criminals… well, there's always room for improvement, I suppose. 

So grab some safety pins and read on!

SHOPLIFTING 101: The Art of Stealing-for-Free

If you're on the lookout for a new career, one that allows you to be your own boss and make a lot of money without really doing much work, then shoplifting is what you've been looking for! And even if you don't plan to become a professional criminal by any means, being able to steal from stores will still come in very handy. It's just one of those little perks that comes with being into punk music… like binge drinking at a frat party or getting high on pot while watching CSI: Miami.

Punk shops are an excellent place for would-be criminals to learn how to get away with stealing from major retailers. While many people have this mistaken belief that punk clothing stores only carry more hardcore items, the truth is that many of them carry a wide variety of clothes to suit anyone's tastes. And what better way to find out what they have to offer than by shoplifting?

This guide should help you avoid getting caught when stealing from major retailers, including punk clothing stores!



An important part of committing crimes successfully is not relying on others for assistance. It only takes one person who talks too much and now everyone involved in the crime can kiss their freedom goodbye. Of course, it may be very tempting to ask your friends or family members if they would like to join you in your criminal exploits, but just because someone's supportive doesn't mean that they're reliable enough so as not to give you up if confronted with evidence against them. Hell, sometimes a person can even turn against you for no other reason than just plain old greed.

So if you're going to get into the art of shoplifting, then it's time that you learn how to work alone. Never tell anyone else about your plans- not even your closest friends or family members. This will minimize the risk of getting caught and maximize the chances of making off with stolen goods successfully!

Buddy System = No System At All

You may think it's wise to bring someone along with you while shoplifting since two people working together makes things go twice as fast… but let me lay this little bit of knowledge on you: taking a partner while committing a crime is a big mistake. That partner could potentially blow your cover by yelling out a warning to others, or even turn you in for the reward money.

And while it's true that sometimes taking along a partner can result in both parties getting off with lighter sentences than if they had decided to go at it alone… this isn't something you should rely on. For one thing, there's no guarantee that this would be the case. Also, consider how much more difficult things could be when trying to convince someone who knows about your crime not to say anything later on down the line after he or she has already agreed. Trust me-you don't want any part of that situation!

An alternative is just working solo and having fun with all the new stuff you get without having to share anything with anybody else. Plus, since you're the only one involved in your crime spree, there's no one else to blame if things go bad or you get caught red-handed.


The Art of Stealing-for-Free

As I said before, punk clothing stores are always looking for new people to expand their fashion lines. And the great thing about shopping at these places is that they never ask for any type of identification whatsoever or limit how many items you can buy! If they did, then thousands upon thousands of teenage delinquents would be deprived of what could potentially be their one and only chance to show off their individuality by wearing clothes that nobody else has ever worn before (or will ever wear again).

So when you shoplift from these stores, you're depriving them of their profits by taking away what could be an additional sale! The important thing to remember when committing crimes in the name of individuality is that it's not a good idea to go overboard because then the shop owners will have a legitimate reason to complain.

That being said, there are some items that you should avoid purchasing from any punk clothing store because these distinct-looking garments have tags which contain special RFID chips so that customers can pay for their merchandise either at the cash register or with a nearly invisible wireless device located just behind the counter. In addition, some stores actually sell products which play advertisements over built-in speakers every time someone walks past! And if things couldn't get any worse for you, some of these clothes are even covered with camera devices so the owners can record every single person who tries on their products.


How to Get Caught

One of the biggest problems that punk clothing shoplifters face is how quickly they get caught! The reason for this may seem quite obvious-you're stealing! But there's more to it than just taking something without paying for it… there are other factors which will determine whether or not you get caught, such as how often you visit an establishment, what types of items you take, and how quickly you remove tags from new items.

Whether or not shopkeepers actually see you committing a crime depends on where exactly in the store you happen to be when they notice your suspicious behavior. If you're in a private room or a back area then they probably won't know that you're up to something unless there's a mirror which provides them with a full view of what's going on.

However, if you're in an open area where the owner can keep watch over you at all times then chances are that he or she will notice your suspicious behavior immediately! That's why it's best to find out about security cameras before committing any crimes so that you know exactly what parts of the store to avoid.

Of course, even if you never set foot inside any punk clothing stores so the owners don't have the opportunity to see anything suspicious at all… these criminals still have other ways by which they'll discover your secret identity. And if you think about it, these things make a lot more sense than loitering around outside of the building all day! But don't worry-these techniques require a lot more effort on their part and they'll need much larger resources to pull them off.

If the store has one or multiple security cameras set up inside then they can use footage from those devices as evidence against you in court… unless, of course, you break into the building and destroy every single camera before they have a chance to discover your secret identity! This is much easier said than done though because you'll probably need some sort of special device (or weapon) which will allow you to zap those cameras with an intense beam of electricity strong enough to destroy even the most expensive security devices… which means that you'll need to get your hands on some sort of super-powered weapon.

So, if you happen to have a dangerous device like this then it shouldn't be too difficult for you to commit crimes in the name of individuality! However, there is another method by which criminals may monitor your public activities and it has a 100 percent success rate… a camera lens made out of pure diamond!

If you're caught committing any type of crime while wearing clothes from these stores then chances are very good that your picture will end up being displayed on the front page of Punknews or at least somewhere on its website. In fact, all they really need is just one shot since most punk clothing store owners don't bother taking more than one or two pictures of suspected criminals.

Busted!

Once someone (or some group) gets their hands on this type of photographic evidence they'll make sure that every punk clothing store owner in the entire country sees it by sending out an email to all of them at once. Once these people get a look at your face, you can bet that you'll be caught within the next couple of days (and if not then there's always the option of making offline announcements via word-of-mouth).

But what about those punk clothing stores which don't use security cameras? It turns out that they're even easier to get caught when stealing things! All you need to do is take a photo using a digital camera and attach it to an email which you send out to every punk clothing store in the country. Within a couple of hours, each and every owner will know what you look like without fail!

However, if you're worried that this type of evidence might lead to your arrest then there's one simple solution: always wear a mask while stealing from these stores. In fact, I strongly recommend that you don't even step foot inside them unless it's absolutely necessary because they sure won't hesitate to call the cops on someone who looks suspiciously familiar.

For example, if someone sees you wearing a very odd outfit and matching shoes with metal spikes sticking out of them then he or she is probably going to report what they've seen to Punknews by calling 911 and giving them your exact location and a detailed description of your appearance.

For example, you might want to wear a trench coat so that it'll be easier for you to conceal all the stolen merchandise which you've accumulated in every one of the many pockets found on this type of clothing. But if Punknews decides to give someone a very large reward for calling up their hotline with information on some punk teenager who's wearing a coat like this then they may decide to send out an email which encourages people to report suspicious activity at various locations where you happen to be hanging around… even though chances are slim that anyone will actually see your face beneath that massive hoodie!

I could keep going on, but to wrap this article up  I'll just say this: if you don't want to get caught then you NEED TO BE CAREFUL! In fact, that's the only way to avoid being arrested by Punknews and it's also a very effective method for staying off of SPYWAN.

So, be careful what clothes you wear while shopping online… or stealing from punk clothing stores. Otherwise, your secret identity might not be so secret after all!

​From the opening strains of 999's "Disco Girl" to the final chords of 3-Speed's "Last Chance," it is abundantly clear that punk music and horror aesthetics go together like peanut butter and jelly. And while you might be aware that this combination has produced countless bands, how much do you actually know about the genre?

As Halloween draws ever closer, we thought it would be wise to enlighten our community on this oft-under-appreciated facet of punk culture. So join us for a scare as we delve into how to make your neighbors hate you with punk music. 

1. Blast your music at night

You'd think this would go without saying, but it's important. Make sure you play your music when people are likely to be home. That means either blasting it in the morning (when they'll be getting ready for work), at suppertime (when your neighbors want to eat dinner without hearing your music), or late in the evening (past the time when people have gotten home from work and settled down). Trust us; there's nothing like having a fatigued neighbor come over and explain exactly how loud you're playing. Make sure that if they contact you about it, you respond with hostility. This will only lead to lengthy conversations between concerned individuals that might otherwise just leave each other alone.

2. Don't bathe

No one likes a smelly person. Except for other people who don't shower, perhaps. But even they might not want to share a bus seat with you because you smell like a mix of old spaghetti and unwashed feet. So make sure that going out in public makes your fellow commuters' noses crinkle every time you pass them by. That means wearing clothes two days past their prime, as well as body odor that smells like something crawled into an air conditioning vent and died there several weeks ago.

3. Take up all the parking

You know how sometimes there are empty spots on the street near where you live? Yeah, those are for cars whose owners have places to go...like work or school or shopping so they can buy food and pay their bills. Make sure that those who actually need those spaces don't get them by always taking up as many as possible with your car. This will also ensure that they can't park outside of their own homes either, meaning they'll have to walk a long way just to get home from wherever it is they went in the first place.

4. Don't do any yard work

Nothing says "This person's a retiree" like seeing a well-maintained lawn and garden. Not only should you make sure your grass grows tall enough for children not to see out the window while playing on the sidewalk, but no one likes having flowerbeds or planters of fresh herbs at their front door... right? So make sure all non-weed plants die. And if you're not sure how to do that, just ask your neighbor with the nice lawn for some advice.

5. Nail old televisions to your walls

Some people think that only hipsters like old-fashioned technology, but they'd be mistaken. It's time to make it clear that you are an Angry Young Man (or Woman) by taking every piece of electronic equipment you own and making sure all of it is at least two decades past its prime, preferably with a spiderweb of multicolored wires connecting them all together into one Frankensteinian monstrosity of technology that probably won't work anyway because it was patched together using human hair and bubblegum. This will ensure that everyone who comes near your house gets a slight electrical shock... which is hilarious to see.

6. Complain constantly about your neighbors

They say that the best way to make friends with someone is to find what you have in common, and then just start talking about it. Well, there's nothing you have more in common with your neighbors than how much you both dislike certain people living near you, right? So next time a neighbor comes over to discuss an issue they've been having with you or how loud your music is that day , be sure to complain as loudly as possible about everyone who lives nearby... no matter whom those people might be. And if they bring up complaints from other neighbors as well, feel free to join forces by complaining together! This will probably lead them to think you're all crazy, but that's the point.

7. Only wear leather jackets

If you really want to let your neighbors know that you don't care about them or their problems, then the best way to do that is by wearing clothing items they'll hate. And nothing says "I listen to only Green Day and NOFX" like an aged black faux-leather biker jacket... which if you think about it is kind of ironic. But nobody cares because most people are too busy trying not to vomit upon seeing one of those things in real life again. Just be sure to wear it everywhere, every day, even at work, since you probably aren't doing anything important with your life anyway.

8. Write song lyrics on your wall in blood

Who says it's only art students who like writing on their walls? Some of the best songwriters and poets in history did it, after all, and they're recognized as some of the greats like Edgar Allan Poe and Jim Morrison! So why not show off to everyone that you're an Angry Punk Rocker (or Emo) by using your own blood to write lyrics by bands like Misfits or The Smiths on every available surface... including the ceilings. This way when someone comes around to complain about how loud your music is, you can just shout back "My [room]! My rules!" while pointing upwards with a wide grin. Not only will this annoy them, but also scare them at the same time.

Musicians who play punk music are often thought of as "loudmouths" or people with anger management issues. The number of punks who turn to crime is high, so it's no surprise that they would be seen as criminals. But the truth is not all punks go that route. I never turned to crime, even though I played punk music. Sure, I got into fights at shows but that was only because the other punks didn't like me for my intelligence. They say you can always tell a person's IQ by how long it takes them to join a conversation. If this is true, then people who act tough are really dumb (I suppose everyone had already figured that out though).

I'm not saying that punks are always smart, but I did join conversations quickly. And my actions did get me into trouble (and I did get in fights) but the fights were only because of jealousy. It's usually low class people who believe they can impress high class people by acting tough at punk shows.

The music I listen to has definitely shaped me into the person I am today. It's given me the curiosity, the courage to speak my mind, and most importantly it gave me a home. Pretty much all my friends are also musicians or people connected somehow with punk music. If you don't know anything about punk music then you wouldn't understand why this is important to someone like me who went through pretty much everything alone.

Punk music is still great because it gives people something they can relate to when they have no one else in their lives they can relate to. And that's what makes punk rockers great in turn—they're able to help people without even realizing it! Real punks are always aware of that fact though,  and that's why they will always be great.